PASADOS Y RECUERDOS

El Pasado juega un papel importante  en el proceso de adpatación de pareja, por ende  cada individuo debe conocer como mínimo noventa porciento del  trazado relevante en la vida de esa persona con la que comparte su vida ahora.

En le proceso de conocer a las personas  y me refiero a los primeros encuentros, se debe estar completamente seguro de qué es lo que se busca  en un pareja  en el aspecto sentimental  e íntegro, que  esté conciente de la responsabilidad de su propia vida y de la de su próxima pareja, pero además de estos  factores existe otro que  muchas veces pasa por  alto, éste factor es el pasado, el pasado viene a ser fundamental en las relaciones, se le debe prestar mucha atención, por que es de donde se  desprende  toda un gama de comportamientos que van a estar muy ligados a la nueva  vida a desarrollar como  compañeros sentimentales.

Los niveles de espectativas pueden pronosticarse si hiciéramos un análisis del pasado de la persona antes de  sentar las bases para una futura decisión. Esto quiere decir, que si nos tomáramos un tiempo para conocer el pasado de nuestras citas, nos ahorraríamos tiempo en futuros conflictos y problemas que  pueden  llevar  a casos de maltrato o incluso asesinatos como lo es el maltrato familiar en las parejas heterosexuales por ser los de mayor insidencia.

Cuando existen diferencias de edades en las parejas, es aún  más difícil para ambas partes encontrar un equilibriio que le permita aceptar el pasado de cada uno, porque pueden encontrar asperezas como el número de exparejas, ya que alguno de los dos ha tenido más experiencias en relaciones sentimentales que el otro. Por lo que se recomienda  tomar el tiempo necesario para conocer en una pequeña escala las necesidades y comportamientos que ambas partes poseen, revisarlas y estar claros de que forman parte de lo que ambos estan buscando. 

Para las anteriores situaciones  lo que resulta difícil no es aceptar el pasado sino conocerlo y sobre todo saberlo aceptar, pues incluye  delimitar en forma precisa como éstas exparejas pueden influir  en las relaciones actuales.

Para todas las parejas, lo que se debe procurar es, conocer lo que les permite estar con sus amantes ahora,  en el presente, para  seguir mejorándolo, para que el pasado se quede sólo en los recuerdo.

  

BURNING THE CLOSET

Long ago I wondered why a strange phrase like "coming out of the closet" was causing me so much
concern and discomfort.

Anyone who is gay knows full well the concept and feeling of being “ in the closet “ and for some, they eventually experience the painful process of “ coming out of the closet” . Many gays, however, never do “ come out” for reasons and fears that are either real or perceived.

For me, the idea of coming out caused a storm of ideas and thoughts which can lead to somewhat outlandish ideas for all those who have been exposed to that phrase.

“Coming out the closet”, is a phrase that has faced many people around the world. " Coming Out " is the evolutionary process of social acceptance in itself. What I want to expose are the characteristics and qualities that may be lost or are qualified by the phrase that the individual is either inside or outside the closet.

The idea that I propose is to develop the concept of "Burning the Closet" The idea is not to simply eliminate the phrase "coming out of the closet”, but rather to entirely eliminate “ the closet” itself and as a result we eliminate any need to come out of it.

The closet supports the fact that each individual is at a stage which they should eventually leave for a new one, which is composed of behaviors that are generally believed to be your 'next lifestyle', 'your manner of talking' and 'the type of clothing you wear'. This is completely wrong.

To support the theory of burning the closet, I welcome the fact that one does not depend on anything to remain as they have always been for the individual whose life is as he wants it be, or to justify their behavior, or whether their family knows he is gay or not.

Only the single individual will be able to decide for himself, but in deciding, they should not be judged by others within or outside the closet or that he must justify his decision. Ideally his family should accept the fact as being gay without the need to indicate or state that he is gay. Today, many young people when asked if they are gay, respond: " I do not believe in labeling myself or in labeling others."

In short, the individual that knows that he is gay, should have no need to declare to others that he is gay in order to be accepted as gay.

Once we have accepted the gay person as someone who may be different and yet capable of being or becoming who he proposes to be there is no need for being cloistered in the closet or to congratulate him for leaving it, rather we should have the ability to recognize that each individual, whether straight or gay, is a unique individual with their own unique characteristics and abilities.

Hopefully we can burn the closet and reach the point where the concept of “ coming out of the closet” has been totally forgotten.